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God’s Heart for the Orphan: Part 1

God’s Heart for the Orphan: Part 2

For as long as I can remember I have had a desire to adopt. I thought it was something that was just for families who could not have children and I kept hoping something would just fall into my lap so that I could adopt too. Then I met my husband who happened to have two adopted siblings (he was a biological child) and I realized that adoption was a possibility for my future. From the day we got married we always knew adoption was something that we would do, we just thought that it was something that would come much later on in life, after our birth children were older. Then we had two sons who I was staying home with and we decided to go ahead and look into it. Since I was already home it seemed to make sense to just keep going. As we began to research adoption the enormous need became oh so clear to us and we HAD to do something. We were young, too young for some adoption programs and we had two kids who were 1 and 2. We really thought the agency was just going to laugh at us when we called!

We chose to do a domestic infant adoption because of the astounding number of abortions. We felt that as Christians instead of condemning young woman in difficult circumstances, we should be there for them, giving them a different option so that they might be able to choose life for their unborn baby. We are called to love God and to love others and adoption is one way that we can truly live that out. We don’t deserve the love that God has freely given us yet it’s ours. Our desire is to share that love. It is only because of God’s love in our life that we are able to love others freely. Our heart is not just for the baby but for the birth family as well. After waiting for about a year we finally got to bring our sweet little baby girl, Adia, home. She is now 16 months old and cute as can be. Our family would not be the same without her!

Last June a situation came up out of the blue and we were again matched with a birth mom. In October we flew across the country to bring our next baby home, just to have the birth mom change her mind right at the last minute. It was extremely difficult. Our hearts were broken, we lost time, and we lost money. Even though it was so disappointing we had to keep reminding ourselves of the true reason we were adopting, and that reason was to share the love of Christ, to extend his grace to others. Our hope is that this birth mom was able to experience that through us. Adoption is a ministry. Adoption is not about us. It’s about following God and doing what He wants us to do. Even though the journey has been hard we have no regrets and we know that God has a plan and will bring us to our next child in His timing. We are currently praying and waiting to see what is next for us in adoption. Adoption is not easy and I would ever want to candy coat the difficulties involved. At the same time I cannot begin to describe the blessing of being a part of God working. I am so grateful that He has allowed us to be his hands and feet. I used to think it took really special people to adopt, but here we are, just two very normal, very flawed people. Despite our weaknesses and imperfections, we get to be a part of this miracle called adoption and we are so grateful for that.

“I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west…bring my sons from afar, and my daughters from the ends of the earth; Even every one that is called by my name for I have created him for my glory.” Isaiah 43:5-7

Our family began in the usual way. On December 13, 1986, we were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Robert G. Sanford, Jr. The children came along right away. Our first born was Joshua, and then came another strapping boy, Garrison, followed by their auburn-haired sister, Melinda. We were a happy little homeschooling family seeking to serve the Lord. It was never our intent to have a super-size family or to have our one family represent four different nationalities. It was our desire however to respond to the Lord’s call to adopt. We had hoped and prayed for a little sister for Melinda. What we did not know was God had even bigger plans!

It was on September 30, 1999 when a chubby, curly-haired two and a half year old little girl was placed in our home. She was the direct answer to prayer and fulfillment of our dreams. There was a six year gap between Rebecca and Melinda. So we began to pray for another 2-3 year old to be placed in our home through DCFS, so that this ‘child of our heart’ would not grow up to be a spoiled brat! Three weeks later, we received the call that three sisters, 10, 8, and 3 needed an immediate adoptive home and “by the way, we need your answer within the hour!” After a quick family prayer meeting, unanimous vote, and a two-day wait, we became the proud parents of Cassandra, Susanna, and Victoria.

Three years later on April 7, 2003 we saw pictures of four siblings ages 11, 9 and twins 8. The Lord spoke to Bob’s heart, “If you do not adopt these children, no one will.” So in November the Lord sent us to Russia to bring home our three sons and daughter whom three months earlier we had hosted for ten-days in our home. During our 10 day stay in Moscow and Cheboksary, one and a half of those days was spent in a Russian court finalizing our adoption. We learned later that the judge was so intrigued with questioning us about our homeschool, large family, and USA foster care system that she did not watch the time. Typically court last 2-4 hours depending on the judge, ours was 10 hours! Yet William, Peter, Zachary, and Adrianna where officially ours and finally in their forever family!

But wait, there is one more story to share. In October 2003, the Lord spoke to Katherine’s heart, “Go to the Philippines, and name the boy Nathan.” (Our four children were not even ‘home’ from Russia yet!) Our social worker, upon hearing this news on February 20, 2004 after visiting our family of 13 for over an hour, said, “If it was anyone else I would say no, but because it is you guys I will talk to our Philippine adoption coordinator.” To make a very long story short, we received the referral of two boys and a girl, ages 11, 9, and 7, in July 2004, but it was May 17, 2005 before we were able to hug our children in the Philippines for the first time. Three days later, including a 24-hour plane ride, Derick, Nathan, and Elaina were home!

Needless to say adoption is our heart and we are big advocates of large homeschooling families. Are there challenges and struggles? Yes, every day, not only financially, but physically and emotionally. Yet, we have truly learned how faithful the Lord is when he says ‘I will never leave you or forsake you’ or ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding’ or ‘I know the plans I have for you…’ or ‘We know that all things work together for good to them that love God…’ or ‘Though it tarry wait…’ or ‘Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed for the LORD thy God is with thee’

The Sanford’s to-date: Bob, Katherine, Josh, Cassandra, Garrison, Melinda, William, Susanna, Derick, Peter, Zachary, Adrianna, Nathan, Victoria, Rebecca, and Elaina.

For the two years prior to attendance at last October’s Christian Filmmakers Academy in San Antonio, TX, our now seventeen year-old son Jesse Winton had read about and envisioned producing a God-glorifying Christian film. Spurred by a sincere and affectionate love for his adopted sisters, a very personal involvement in the entire process of adoption, and a heart passionate to not only see other fatherless children be placed into Christian homes but other families experience the profound blessing of adopting, the theme he had always spoken of for his first film project was adoption. Though our family has always been supportive of each of our son’s passions and interests, as a family with a growing ministry through music presented with many personal challenges in the past few years, at the time it didn’t seem there was much more we could do than provide excellent resources on the subject and cheer him on as he slowly pursued steps toward learning more about filmmaking.

However, as we have now seen come to pass over and over again in our lives, when we really are in a position to do nothing, God goes before us and does everything.  Toward the end of our five-month tour with our family bluegrass band last summer, at one of our events a Godly man spent a significant amount of time asking Cody and Jesse about their interests, their goals for the future, their education, and our family’s music ministry, among other topics. After finding out that Jesse was interested in filmmaking, this man offered the gift that Providentially made this project become reality. “If you, your brother and your Dad can get to the Filmmaker’s Academy held in San Antonio, TX at the end of October, your way will be taken care of.”  We were able to schedule concerts to perform along the way, and many generous friends offered lodging out and back, and total strangers generously housed them during the academy and film festival, making attendance a reality.

Prior to attendance at the festival, Cody and Randy had encouraged Jesse in his desire to make a movie, but really had no personal interest in producing films, even though we had been involved with promotion and distribution of Christian films as a distributor with Freedom Film Distributors.  However, the Lord began to work in all of their hearts and I will always remember the phone call as they left Texas telling me, “We’re going to make a movie, and it’s going to be about adoption.”  And thus, Wintons Motion Pictures was born.  My first thought being the optimist that I am was, “What? We’re a bluegrass band (and that is its own story…), not a bunch of filmmakers! I wonder what this will turn out to look like…,” but as the Lord began to unfold His very obvious Providential hand in bringing this to pass, I was able to begin to work and plan and dream alongside my visionary husband and sons.

The past eleven months have been filled with so many incredible Providences in bringing this film project together, from allowing us to film while touring in order to provide for expenses, to giving us just the right people to interview for the film, teaming us up with another father/son production company, Hedrick Brothers Productions, to work alongside us in the project, right down to incredibly providing highly-valued film scoring for “Rescued” as a gift from fellow adoptive father, Jurgen Beck, currently one of the most sought-after composers of independent film scores in the Independent Christian film industry.

Rescued- Editing Update from Wintons Motion Pictures on Vimeo.

As I watch the almost-finished film, so many thoughts run through my head, so many remembrances of God’s Sovereign hand going before us in this project that I stand absolutely and incredibly amazed at His goodness. We have not really made this film; the Lord our God has gone before us in the minutest detail, providing for each and every aspect of a completed project that we believe is an incredible gift from Him. There is no other explanation for it. This is what the Lord our God has done, working through our weakness and inexperience so that He alone receives the glory, and we hope this project will go forth and be a blessing to others who view it as it has been to those of us who have worked on it. Our prayer for this film is that it will impact believers to act, that hearts will be moved by the Lord and thousands of children will be adopted; that these orphans will hear the Gospel in their homes and come to saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, effectively rescued by the hand of God from the very pit of hell.  That as true disciples of Christ, these rescued children will one day train up their own children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, raising up the next and successive generations of genuine believers from lives that were once headed for a Christ-less eternity, the same eternity we were all headed for before God in the flesh gave Himself on the cross and rose again, winning the battle over death and hell, creating a people for Himself, saving and rescuing us.

Sincerely,

Lisa, for the Wintons

We were thrilled! I had not yet spoken to her myself, but had thought often of her and wondered how she was doing, so one day in March I decided I would give her a call. Just before we hung up, she mentioned that she was going to place her baby for adoption and that she was going in for a sonogram the following day to find out if the baby was boy or girl, but she was pretty sure that her baby was a girl.

I remember feeling a little surprised that she had decided on adoption. I guess I just assumed that she would opt to keep her baby. I have to admit that I did wonder for a fleeting moment if perhaps the Lord was trying to lead Jurgen and I to adopt her baby, but then reasoned that a domestic adoption might be too risky. People might also think it  strange, since I was the one who encouraged her to consider adoption in the first place, rather than end her baby’s life.

I probably would not have allowed myself to think more about it if I had not had the encouragement of my mother. I remembered that in January I had told my parents about the conversation I’d had with this young woman and asked them to pray for her. I had forgotten to tell them the good news of her decision regarding her baby, so after hanging up with this young lady, I called my mom to tell her the outcome. I mentioned to her that the lady had decided that she would place her baby for adoption.

About a month earlier I had shared with my mom our desire regarding a baby, so when I told her that this child was going to be placed for adoption, she quickly asked, “So, are you going to adopt her?” She firmly believed that the Lord might be leading us in that direction, since He had used me to help save this baby’s life.

I was a little surprised that she voiced what I had just been thinking, and again wondered if God was trying to lead us to this baby, but I told her that I wasn’t sure it would be such a good idea, since Jurgen and I had both decided that domestic, or an open adoption, was not an option for us. Also, the fact that I had encouraged this young lady to consider adoption made me concerned that it would seem as if I had had an ulterior motive when I counseled her. Before hanging up, she encouraged me to talk with Jurgen about it.

I think that evening I told Jurgen about the young lady’s decision to place her baby for adoption, but I didn’t have the courage to take it any further. Instead, I spent a couple of days thinking and praying about it and found myself getting more excited about the possibility. I decided that I would bring it up to Jurgen, if the opportunity arose.

It wasn’t until the end of that week that I had a chance to approach Jurgen with my thoughts, really not knowing what his initial reaction would be. Much to my surprise, Jurgen was all for it. I had expected him to need at least a few days to think and pray it over, after all, when we decided to pursue adoption again, we had stated, “No babies and no domestic adoption.” Now, here we were pursuing a local baby, and we assumed that at least some openness would be involved in the adoption.

We were amazed at how the Lord had changed both of our hearts in just a few short months. As Jurgen so aptly put it, “This is the only thing that seems right.” We both felt that we could be comfortable with some amount of openness, since I already knew the birth mother and felt comfortable with her. The next step was to talk with her and find out if she would possibly consider us to be adoptive parents for her baby.

On March 26th, the day before Easter, I was able to talk with her. I was horribly nervous and felt awkward, after all, how do you propose to someone such a huge and personal question? I was concerned that she would be uncomfortable with us and I didn’t want to add more pressure to her situation, but somehow I managed to get the question out.

I half expected her to tell me that she had already chosen a couple, or that she would be uncomfortable with us due to her relationship with me, but instead, she nearly screamed for joy. She said that she had actually thought about us all along, but that she didn’t think we would consider adopting her baby because of a comment I had made to her back in January regarding open adoptions. When I told her that Jurgen and I had discussed this and felt at peace about pursuing an open adoption with her, she was overjoyed.

Over the next few months there were multiple doubts, fears and obstacles to overcome for all of us, but it was a journey that was truly led by the Holy Spirit in every way, even down to naming our daughter. Our daughter’s birth mother had graciously given us the privilege of naming her, and so we asked the Lord to show us what her name was to be. We both felt that we wanted at least part of her name to be “Grace,” for what better name is there to remind us of God’s redeeming love to mankind?

As Jurgen started going through the list of baby names, he read off a few that didn’t really catch my attention. Then he read “Arianna” and we both looked at each other and said, “What a beautiful name!” Then we discovered what the name meant: “Most Holy.”

We both said, “Arianna Grace,” for her life is a perfect representation of God’s most holy grace. His grace reached down and intervened in her life, so that her birth mother’s heart would choose life, rather than death for her child. His grace gave her birth mother the strength to follow through with what she believed would be the best future for her child, though it was the hardest thing she had ever done. It was God’s grace that brought Arianna into our family and fulfilled the desperate longing that was in our hearts for this child. It was His grace that almost instantly bonded our hearts with hers, for there is no way we could ever love a child more than we love our Arianna Grace.

Her life is a perfect reflection of God’s redeeming love and grace to all mankind, for He longs that we would be made His sons and daughters, as it says in Ephesians 1:4-5 “Long ago, even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave him great pleasure.”

Just before leaving, we had purchased a book about adoption and I was looking forward to spending part of our vacation seeking the Lord for direction. I had hoped that we could start the overseas adoption process after our return. However, during the next several days, I began to have a growing uneasiness in my heart regarding every aspect of the adoption. I tried to reason that it was just stress from work, or fear of the unknown, but I just could not shake the cloud that seemed to hover over me.

Lying awake in bed one night, discouraged and frustrated, I pleaded with the Lord to show me why I felt such distress about pursuing the international adoption. I believe the Lord answered me with a dream. Falling back to sleep a short time later, I dreamt that Jurgen and I had a baby with us that I knew was our own. Our hearts were so full of joy and love for the child, and we were so happy.

When I awoke, I had an overwhelming desire to have a baby of our own. The dream was extraordinarily real and tangible, and I felt strongly that the Lord had given me this dream as an answer to my questions about pursuing adoption. I am not the type of person who normally bases my decisions on dreams, but this was different. It was as if the Lord Himself had dropped this desire into my heart.

When I asked the Lord when this might happen, all that came to my mind was the word “March.” Hoping this meant that we would conceive a child by March, I looked forward to the coming months with anticipation, but by March we still had not conceived a child.

I remember taking our dogs out for a run in the field one day in early March and feeling grief and anguish at having to face the very real possibility that we would never experience the joys of holding a baby of our own in our arms. I remember sitting on the ground, broken and crying out to God… begging Him to please either give us a baby, or remove this longing from my heart.

Later that day I felt led to read an entry in the devotional that I was working through. I broke down in tears as the message clearly focused on surrendering and trusting God when we can’t understand the reasons for painful and difficult things in our lives. At the end of the entry was a poem that I will always treasure, because it spoke so deeply to my heart and helped me, once again, to surrender my hopes and dreams to the will of my loving Heavenly Father.

It was a reminder that it is not about me and my desires, but about God’s perfect will and plan, and that I need to continually submit ALL things to Him, not just the things that are easy to submit.

We often cannot understand the ways of God…the Bible says that God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours and we cannot always understand them. That is where faith comes in. We KNOW that God is ALWAYS good, and faithful, and just, and right, so we choose to trust Him in ALL things and believe that His purposes are good, even when the circumstances don’t look or feel good. The poem goes like this:

No chance hath brought this ill to me;
‘Tis God’s own hand, so let it be,
He seeth what I cannot see.
There is a need-be for each pain,
And He one day will make it plain
That earthly loss is heavenly gain.
Like a piece of tapestry
Viewed from the back appears to be
Naught but threads tangled hopelessly;
But in front a picture fair
Rewards the worker for his care,
Proving his skill and patience rare.
Thou art the Workman, I the frame.
Lord, for the glory of Thy Name,
Perfect Thine image on the same.

I was left with a choice: Do I dig in my heels and try to figure out a way to make my desires come to pass, or do I lay down my dreams of a daughter?

In January it had seemed that the Lord had put the desire for a baby daughter into my heart, and indicated that something would happen in March, but now I wondered if perhaps I had only imagined it all. Sitting on the bed that day, I made the choice to lay it all down again. Although I was overcome with an inexpressible sadness and grief, and wept until there were no more tears to cry, I knew that I could not hold onto my will and whole heartedly embrace the Lord’s will at the same time.

I chose to believe that there was a purpose for it all and that God, in His sovereignty would accomplish His perfect will and plan through all of this. Although I laid it all at His feet that day, there was still a tiny kernel of hope in my heart that perhaps somehow the Lord would still fulfill our desire in His perfect time. I could have never guessed that just a few weeks later the Lord would lead us to the fulfillment of our hopes and dreams.

We had previously discussed adoption. We bounced around ideas of adopting from overseas, but nothing had materialized, mostly due to the incredibly high cost of doing so. We spent hours on the Internet, checking out multiple adoption agencies. It was discouraging to read about the complicated and expensive process. Domestic adoptions were no different, at least the ones we had researched about.

Then God stepped in and ordered our steps in a direction that we would have never dreamed up ourselves. He had a specific plan all along.

In December of 2004 I hired a young lady to fill a job opening we had in my parent’s company. I had actually interviewed her back in November of 2004 and had planned to hire her at that time, but was forced to put a freeze on hiring, due to some unexpected events in the company. I felt strongly that I was supposed to hire her, and was happy that she was still available when the job finally opened up.

Since we were short-handed in the department she was training into, I had decided that it would be best to train her myself. I felt an instant connection with her and looked forward to getting to know her during the training period. However, I became concerned when, on her first morning she told me that she would need to take off work the last couple of days that week for personal reasons. She was apologetic and said she would understand if I decided not to keep her on. I knew she really needed the job, so I decided to give her a chance and see how things developed over the first few days.

As that first morning progressed, I noticed that she was physically not feeling well. I gave her a couple of breaks to rest and by afternoon I was getting concerned. She was flushed and nauseous. I started suspecting that she might be pregnant.

Knowing that the job I had hired her for was far too physically demanding for a pregnant woman, I finally just asked her if she was pregnant. She looked a bit surprised and then started opening up to me. She proceeded to tell me that she was indeed pregnant and the reason she needed to take off of work at the end of the week was because she was scheduled to go in for an abortion.

She was already struggling as a single mother of two small children and felt overwhelmed at the thought of a third child. She felt the only alternative was to end the pregnancy. I quickly asked the Lord to give me the right words to speak to this young lady and to guide our conversation. I asked her if she would like to talk about her situation, which she readily accepted.

Taking her into one of our unused offices we talked for over two hours. It was one of those rare and amazing experiences God arranges. I felt strongly that I was supposed to hire this young lady, and now I discovered one of the reasons why He led her to our company. He gave me the words to speak to her, about the preciousness of the child she was carrying, and to speak truth to her, which helped her see that, even though she had not planned this pregnancy in her difficult circumstances, that this child was precious to God and that He did have a perfect plan for this child’s life.

I was able to encourage her to check out alternatives to abortion. I let her know that there were Christian organizations who could help her out financially if she decided to keep her baby. I also told her that there are many wonderful Christian couples who would love to adopt her baby and raise the baby as their own, giving the child a wonderful, loving home. I did mention to her at that time that my husband and I were hoping to adopt a child, but that we were looking at adopting from overseas, because we were not sure whether we would feel comfortable with the many “open” adoptions that seemed to be the only availability locally.

As she listened to all I had to say that day, her heart was very open. I prayed for her and the baby, before she left, and asked her if she would be interested in borrowing a couple of books I had at home about adoption. I also let her know that I was hesitant to keep her on at work, but would let her know the next day.

I struggled all that night as to whether or not I should keep her at work. I knew that if she went through with the abortion, she would be an emotional wreck and would most likely be too distracted to concentrate on her job. Alternatively, if she decided to continue her pregnancy, she would not be able to physically fulfill the position.

After praying and seeking the Lord a good portion of that night, I felt that I was supposed to let her go. When she came into work the next day, I talked with her about my decision. She understood and was thankful that we had talked the previous day. I told her that I truly believed the Lord led her to our company specifically for that purpose, and she agreed. We both felt a bond with one another, and with a hug she left. I had asked her to please let me know when she made her decision regarding the baby and told her that I would like to keep in touch with her.

The Lord had really put a love in my heart for this young lady and I felt that somehow we were connected. I continued to pray for her and the baby over the next few weeks, not yet knowing what she had decided concerning the baby’s future.

One night we were sitting in bed checking email and Facebook and I came across the trailer for The Winton’s movie, “Rescued.” I watched the trailer and it actually brought tears to my eyes. I wondered if God was trying to tell me something here. That night as I wrote in my prayer journal I had the clearest impression of God’s voice on my heart. I was writing out my prayer. “Please God, just make it obvious to me if this is what we should be doing. Are we supposed to pursue adoption?” God nudged my heart and said, “Dear child, why would I tell you no?” I realized that if we were willing and able, God would want us to do this thing. To care for the orphans! Doesn’t He tell us that very thing in his Word? Why would He tell us no?

So now we are in the middle of it all; the paperwork, the home study, the dossier completion, and we couldn’t be happier! Once the decision was made, we felt this urgency to go get our children and bring them home. We are working as quickly as we can to get our end of things completed, and then it will be hurry up and wait for the placement of our children. I compare the feeling to that of a pregnant mother. I am expecting children! I think about them daily. I pray for them. I am planning for them. I cannot wait to meet them. We ended up deciding to adopt internationally from Ethiopia, and we requested a sibling group of three children. It is up to our adoption agency and the Ethiopian government exactly who those children will be. We don’t know our children yet, but God does, and I cannot wait for the day that they get to come home.